Florida Man 8
Some of Florida Man’s friends gathered for a celebration at the incredibly wonderful Café Largo. They came for the best cooking outside France. Each came to be with the other most beautiful women in the world. They came to enjoy the companionship and the intelligent conversation not found elsewhere on earth during this century. But mostly it was because they wanted to celebrate how incredibly cool it is to be a friend of Florida Man.
Some of the more sensitive felt a different presence in the room. Is this it’s picture? NASA says it is a trick of light and shadow. We showed it to a liberal, who said, “Photoshoped. And it’s not funny. Typical conservative code for the conservative agenda, the plot for middle aged white men to take over the world.” We showed it to a conservative, who said, “A ridiculous pile of odds and ends. Typical liberal agenda, the plot to convince everybody that middle aged white men are the root of all evil.” We showed it to a colonel in the Special Forces who slapped his chest and shouted, “We have a hot zone here. Send three birds carrying clusters. No I don’t have time to talk to the president. Make that ten birds instanter, half clusters half armor piercing. Broken arrow! Broken arrow! Broken arrow!” We showed it to a soup kitchen worker, who said, “You do look hungry. Have some beans and rice.” We showed it to Florida Man, who himself might or might not exist, and he said, “It’s my arch enemy Bee-ar. Devourer of populations, destroyer of civilizations.”
Meanwhile back at the ranch. Florida man rescues another baby. Do not leave your baby on the ground with rattlesnakes.
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